The obvious solution is to stay indoors, but this has its setbacks too.
The more time I spend inside, the more I turn into a hobo version of Martha Stewart and Marie Kondo’s love child (if they ever had one). If it weren’t for the detangling brush, there’d be a colony of pigeons living in my hair, feasting on the remains of last night’s snack attack.
It’s not entirely a bad thing. My home is in far better condition than it was pre-winter, thanks to all my eco-friendly products from No Nasties Home. The only problem is, Marie Kondo says to get rid of anything that doesn’t spark joy.
I tried that and the neighbours called the cops.
Apparently, it’s ‘frowned on’ to put your husband and kids on the kerb with a ‘free to an adequate home’ sign.
There is a part of me worrying that, come summer, I’m going to miss all my summer clothes I chucked out. They kept staring at me, taunting me from the wardrobe. They were a constant reminder that winter does NOT bring me joy, and instead makes me dress like my 5-year-old when I let her choose her own outfit. The lowest point was when I briefly toyed with the idea of adding a fedora to my Saturday brunch ensemble. Trust me, it was not fedorable.
The bottom line is, winter sucks and I’m over it. Thank goodness the house looks amazing, or I swear, I’d find a bear to hibernate with and call it a day.
Whose idea was winter anyway?